It’s an interesting question to ask a camper. What does Arleen do all day? Most frequent response: “She works.”
A more elaborate answer: “She works on stuff.”
The most specific answer: “She does papers.”
Favorite answer: “She walks around and says hi to people.”
Truth is, she tries to “do papers”, but sometimes accidentally pays Sysco $6,000 instead of $600 because some tears need to be dried, the kitchen says that the yogurt didn’t come in, a counselor’s car needs a jump start, the guys in the Sophomore Division started a water balloon fight while Myke’s on his day off, and some little guys waiting for the shower in her office want to know if she’ll play Uno with them.
You might say she’s the person behind the curtain who drives the engine of the Skylemar machine. Except that her curtain is wide open, with an office that overflows with kids, counselors and dogs.
She does a lot of problem solving and “behind the back door” stuff. Typically the goal is to look into an issue without anyone knowing who told her about it.
240 boys + 140 staff = a minimum of 76 mini kerfuffles to solve each day.
This summer marks 42 years of her loving every minute on the job, which means she prefers to not take a day off. Relaxing is much too stressful. So is sleeping, as you may have guessed from the timing of Blog posts.
They say it takes 10 years to be an expert, so that she is, four times over, when it comes to boys. No expert has it right all the time, but here are some random observations pertaining to boys and parenting from just this week alone:
- Perhaps we should replace the phrase “I just want him to be happy” with “I just want him to decide to be happy”. Happiness isn’t a gift or reward. It’s a decision that comes from within.
- When it comes to big decisions, go ahead and make them. It takes a huge load off your son. It gives him someone other than himself to blame if things don’t go as he had hoped.
- Practice really does make a difference in getting things right. It’s not easy being a kid or teen. Then again, it’s not easy being an adult. Give your son the opportunity to practice “life”. Let him share with you his challenges, but instead of solving, ask him what he can do about it.
- Boys need something to “hate”, although the word is stronger than the feeling. In fact, all people do. Best to make it something inconsequential, like making a bed, getting a haircut or wearing socks.
- Boys like percentages. If he complains about one person in his bunk, but really likes the other six, point out that 85% is a whole lot better than 15%.
- Best advice to a parent trying to arrange playdates for a 6th grader coming to camp for the first time: “Mom, can I please pick my own friends?”
- Best athletic advice a parent can give their son: “Be the hardest worker and the one having the most fun.“ Joel Shinofield
- A glimpse into the thought process of an 8-year-old boy explaining why he hit another: “He said something mean to me, so I wanted him to feel like I did”.
And finally:
- Love your job... whatever it is. Love people... whoever they are. Your son will follow the leader.
