As a parent, we hurt when our child hurts.   In fact, in some situations we’re even more upset than our child is.  This Blog writer knows.  She has been there before.

For those of us who have a fifteen-year-old son who has wanted to be Captain his entire life, it’s a tough time to be a parent.  He must be devastated, you think to yourself.  Will he be ok? 

So…here’s what happened after Elections.  As a group, they stayed in the Rec Hall until all had left.  Then, as a group, they walked back to Sky II.  Together, they “hung out” and talked about Color War stuff and anything else that teenagers speak of.  Yes, there were a few who were more disappointed than others, and did their best to pretend they were fine.  But true friends saw through the façade and stood by in support.  Before long, every single Star was smiling and joking around as always.

At lunch today the Captains selected their Lieutenants:  two for each team in each Division.  On one hand, it’s an honor to be a Lieutenant.  On the other hand, for the 25 or so in each Division who were not selected, this could be a big disappointment.  A parent might ask, why do they always pick the same people?  Why not give my son a chance?  

Here’s the bottom line:  Skylemar’s Color War is fair.  Participants pick the Captains.  Captains select their Lieutenants.  Captains, with feedback from the Lieutenants, secretly draft the teams.  Adults are the referees, umpires and judges who follow specific rules written and approved by each team.  There’s no grownup intervention, “fixing” of teams, or directives from parents. 

There are some years the moms who work at camp wonder if the kids made the right decision on who they elected or who was selected as Lieutenants.  Perhaps someone else deserves the chance to shine, or someone else could have led in a more positive way.  Nevertheless, Skylemar’s Color War Election demonstrates democracy at its very core.  Those in the camper population are the decision makers, and they cast a vote for Captain using whatever reasoning they wish.

Now for the important part.  The lesson we spoke of yesterday.  Perhaps the most important takeaway from Color War, and one they will take forward for the rest of their lives.  It’s one that cannot be taught in a classroom, with a book or even a deep conversation with loved ones.  It’s a lesson that you have to feel and then decide within what to do with those feelings.

And here it is…

You don’t need a title to be a strong leader.  Leadership, like happiness, comes from within.

Think about it.  It’s all over life.  In the workplace, it’s not necessarily the one with the title who is most valuable to the corporation.  In politics, it’s not necessarily the elected official who makes things happen.  In a movie, it’s not just the actors who make it a smash hit.

Life is about decisions.  People decide to do their best at making a positive impact.  They decide to be leaders who care about others, wise, strong and dedicated.

In Skylemar’s Color War, each participant strives to be the best he can be.  That’s how we roll. 

Tonight, is a magical Skylemar tradition.  Once the teams are secretly drafted and all are asleep, it’s the hour of “pinning”.  The Captains will go into each Bunk and pin either a Red or Gray ribbon to the appropriate pillow of each camper to designate which team he’s on.

Quite a wakeup call!  It will be an exciting and early morning.  We can’t wait!